i think...

I think it's really nice to get accepted into someone's group. As in, when that group goes out, your invited. When they go out and eat together, they will ask you along. You know that sort of thing. I think the only group that invites me is only my own group of friends... When i am with my group of friends, i will try to make sure not one gets left out.. We'll talk and have lots of fun.. But when i am in other people's group, i act differently.. I dont really act the way that i do.. I am quiet... I will just stay at a side and look.. and look... I dont give much comments, it is always kind of awkward when i am with other people.. I think its really fun if i can hang out like others do.. The feeling of being welcomed is always nice, I hope one day i will be... but i am too quiet, like he said:"I am anti-social."... I hate to agree with that, but that is kind of true... My nature is usually very wild, the kind that is like a time bomb.. U dont know what to expect of me, i am weird.. I would just laugh out loud like no one's business when i am happy, i cant control it you see.. I would go crazy sometimes, and just act stupid.. I would be very violent, beating people up when they say the things that offends me or acting in a way that totally irritates me off.. I would be silent with people that are not close to me.. I would smile and give polite talk and that's it.. But i know it's just plainly not me to keep silent.. I like to express myself in a way that i like it but sometimes in the eyes of other people that i am not close to, i just shut myself in.. I am embarrassed, you see... I am afraid that when people see me in my crazy mode, they'll obviously think i am crazy and stay away from me... But after awhile of spending time with me, my true self would be exposed.. and u know... i will start the crazy mode thingy.. hahaz.. I hope one day, i can really just get welcomed for who i am... then i wont need to hide myself again.. I dont like hiding, i like expressing.. and making people laugh... but then... i am kind of afraid what people would think of me... I hope i would be welcomed into your group... But then, if a stranger dares to talk bad about me or tries to backstab me or the even WORSE*hurt the people i love and care about*, i dont give a damn about you, i will search and hunt you down and make sure you feel the same exact pain you did to my loved ones... AND when i get my hands on you,I will get my REVENGE on you... as i say, i am not someone you would like to provoke... =).. thats it for now...

Byez, people...