OMG. OMG. OMG. OMG. OMG. OMG. OMG. OMG. OMG. OMG. OMG. OMG. OMG. OMG. OMG.
I can totally say OMG for the whole day! =X Supposed to be studying right now... But you know what? I just checked out the latest Korean news, and guess what? BIG BANG's ALBUM is totally out... omo omo omo omo~~~~ It's a Japanese mini album, Let Me Hear Your Voice. omo omo omo~~~ I like it~ =X aha. Gonna have to listen to it the whole day I tell you. Gosh, so excited.
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Friday, August 07, 2009
Hey there.
It's been a long long time since I went onto Blogger. Lols. And tried to blog. To summarise my life up till now, It's been pretty screwed up and I realised I regretted alot of my actions too. And yada, yada...
Anyway, I came to blog only shortly. Just to speak out my worse worries in my mind now. My studies, I have been feeling pressure from all over. Especially from myself and my parents. Haiz~ I am always afraid and I always feel that I am not good enough. It's really tough, I really hope I can pull through it. If I don't, I guess I have to go to work? Or maybe re-take it. Man, I am really afraid.
On a positive note, National Day is coming! Just 2 more days. Whoo hoo, long weekend. Finally. Lols. I have been waiting for this weekend, to rest myself and do some revision. Dang, I cant slack. Cant afford to. And, my birthday is coming. Sadly, I don't wish for it to come. Hmm, ask me why? Cause, I don't want to be take note of that day and 'remember' it. You see, when no one celebrates it for you, I will feel kind of sad. It's a special day right? Your birthday, something that happens only once a year. I don't want to feel sad, so I don't want it to come. LOLS. I think simple. =D Sometimes, I really do hate my birthday. Argh.
Sometimes, I do think whether my existence is good or not. But I guess, one shouldn't ponder about such questions too often. If not, I think I will not be here anymore, typing on my sis lappy. LOLS. And, I have to say this! Why does all the people around me be smarter than me? And they all have to SAY, I think I'll jump lor. =.=
Come on, I think I am facing more pressure than anyone else. And I am afraid I really cannot take it. LOLS. I will really jump. Like real, I don't have the guts to do it. I am scared of pain!!
I wish and pray to God, please give me the strength to endure the whole journey. And bless me with your strength when I am weak. I will be eternally grateful for all the things God has done for me. =D He is the one that is always there for me. Amen. =D
Anyway, I came to blog only shortly. Just to speak out my worse worries in my mind now. My studies, I have been feeling pressure from all over. Especially from myself and my parents. Haiz~ I am always afraid and I always feel that I am not good enough. It's really tough, I really hope I can pull through it. If I don't, I guess I have to go to work? Or maybe re-take it. Man, I am really afraid.
On a positive note, National Day is coming! Just 2 more days. Whoo hoo, long weekend. Finally. Lols. I have been waiting for this weekend, to rest myself and do some revision. Dang, I cant slack. Cant afford to. And, my birthday is coming. Sadly, I don't wish for it to come. Hmm, ask me why? Cause, I don't want to be take note of that day and 'remember' it. You see, when no one celebrates it for you, I will feel kind of sad. It's a special day right? Your birthday, something that happens only once a year. I don't want to feel sad, so I don't want it to come. LOLS. I think simple. =D Sometimes, I really do hate my birthday. Argh.
Sometimes, I do think whether my existence is good or not. But I guess, one shouldn't ponder about such questions too often. If not, I think I will not be here anymore, typing on my sis lappy. LOLS. And, I have to say this! Why does all the people around me be smarter than me? And they all have to SAY, I think I'll jump lor. =.=
Come on, I think I am facing more pressure than anyone else. And I am afraid I really cannot take it. LOLS. I will really jump. Like real, I don't have the guts to do it. I am scared of pain!!
I wish and pray to God, please give me the strength to endure the whole journey. And bless me with your strength when I am weak. I will be eternally grateful for all the things God has done for me. =D He is the one that is always there for me. Amen. =D
Friday, April 03, 2009
=)
HEY! Yo everybody~ I today very very very sad. Keep crying non-stop. LOL. Cant stop somemore. So so so ps.... =S
I dedicate this post to my hubby(XY)!! =D Thanks XY for consoling me. =D It worked, lol. Improving le worr~~~
You kind of provide your support in a quiet manner which 'touched' me and I could feel it. =D thanks darling~ You rock! =X lol~
Dont let ppl blow into your ear okay!! I will box them for you! I love you lots~
I dedicate this post to my hubby(XY)!! =D Thanks XY for consoling me. =D It worked, lol. Improving le worr~~~
You kind of provide your support in a quiet manner which 'touched' me and I could feel it. =D thanks darling~ You rock! =X lol~
Dont let ppl blow into your ear okay!! I will box them for you! I love you lots~
Friday, December 12, 2008
today.
I am very happy now! =DDDD
I really feel like I am in love again. LOL. The happiness lah. Today he called me. Although it's at night. He kind of told me what is troubling him. *laughs* And I felt happy, he approached me. Like a small little kid. =.='''
LOL! But the sad thing is, I am not supposed to be happy. I mean like, haiz. Already no hope le. Why still happy over this kind of small thing? Correct or not? You think he won't approach other people meh?
Me: But at least he approach me leh! And tell me! =DDD
Other Me: You want to get hurt again arh? stupid girl. He already say le! He call you is cause he headache. You only get used by him again lah! You damn dumb leh. Can you just wake up from those nonsense? He just needs a person to talk to. Doesn't mean it has to be you.
Me: =( You just crushed all my hopes again. You very mean. He bothered to call me leh, finally! Then you have to be like that. =( I very long never talk to him le leh. Call him, scared disturb him. Sms him, scared distract him. So many things.
Other Me: I have to! crush all your hopes! If not, what am i for? You didn't realise meh? He everytime call you is just for your help de. He call you only ask your help! You think he still like you arh? PUH-LEASE! You think you what? Princess? Rich? Royalty? please lah! Can you please look in the mirror? You are just plain old Gladys. You don't have anything that he will like lah. please lor. Now you still think he will call you back arh? AHA! You dream lor!
Me: But he told me, he will call me back. ='( We talking about gundam until so fun. Then he suddenly say he will call me back later. Although I a bit sad, but he say he will de.
Other Me: =.=''' please lor. You really think he will arh? So many things promised also not done. You think this time he 'SAY' only, will do meh? haiz.
Don't do this to yourself again can? LOL.
Sorry. Really Sorry. :'(
This was occurring in my head. And after that I was really depressed.
I really feel like I am in love again. LOL. The happiness lah. Today he called me. Although it's at night. He kind of told me what is troubling him. *laughs* And I felt happy, he approached me. Like a small little kid. =.='''
LOL! But the sad thing is, I am not supposed to be happy. I mean like, haiz. Already no hope le. Why still happy over this kind of small thing? Correct or not? You think he won't approach other people meh?
Me: But at least he approach me leh! And tell me! =DDD
Other Me: You want to get hurt again arh? stupid girl. He already say le! He call you is cause he headache. You only get used by him again lah! You damn dumb leh. Can you just wake up from those nonsense? He just needs a person to talk to. Doesn't mean it has to be you.
Me: =( You just crushed all my hopes again. You very mean. He bothered to call me leh, finally! Then you have to be like that. =( I very long never talk to him le leh. Call him, scared disturb him. Sms him, scared distract him. So many things.
Other Me: I have to! crush all your hopes! If not, what am i for? You didn't realise meh? He everytime call you is just for your help de. He call you only ask your help! You think he still like you arh? PUH-LEASE! You think you what? Princess? Rich? Royalty? please lah! Can you please look in the mirror? You are just plain old Gladys. You don't have anything that he will like lah. please lor. Now you still think he will call you back arh? AHA! You dream lor!
Me: But he told me, he will call me back. ='( We talking about gundam until so fun. Then he suddenly say he will call me back later. Although I a bit sad, but he say he will de.
Other Me: =.=''' please lor. You really think he will arh? So many things promised also not done. You think this time he 'SAY' only, will do meh? haiz.
Don't do this to yourself again can? LOL.
Sorry. Really Sorry. :'(
This was occurring in my head. And after that I was really depressed.
Sunday, December 07, 2008
me.
I don't know whether I am getting better. But I know I am definitely better than last time when i first received the news everyone! lol. Are your happy? After all the grueling nonsense. Haiz~ =DD happy right?
But the problem is, I don't know whether I am really happy. I know I still love u-know-who. I know it, there's no point avoiding it. And I can still feel it. The foolish smile on my face when I know he's okay and he's happy. The warming of my heart when he is still healthy and having fun. I still feel that as clear as the day. Although I don't really keep in contact with him now. I still do feel. I don't know why, don't ask me why. haiz.
Yes, I am healing. I am happy. But it seems that I managed to convince myself that I am forever happy. Argh. I don't know, Do you understand me? I don't know how to express this well. I don't feel happy, I don't feel sad regarding that manner. It's like I am numb. U know, like I am a robot? I manage to completely deceive myself. I can't cry! I am afraid, why can't I cry?
ARGH.
ARGH.
I realised that on teacher's day when i cried when our classmates asked. I thought I was happy! I really thought that and everything was fine. Except for my studies. EVERYTHING WAS FINE!! I thought I got over it. Then I cried. And I was shocked. They were shocked. And I just quickly wiped my tears, hoping he won't see it. And smiled. just like that.
What's happening?? I am lost.
But the problem is, I don't know whether I am really happy. I know I still love u-know-who. I know it, there's no point avoiding it. And I can still feel it. The foolish smile on my face when I know he's okay and he's happy. The warming of my heart when he is still healthy and having fun. I still feel that as clear as the day. Although I don't really keep in contact with him now. I still do feel. I don't know why, don't ask me why. haiz.
Yes, I am healing. I am happy. But it seems that I managed to convince myself that I am forever happy. Argh. I don't know, Do you understand me? I don't know how to express this well. I don't feel happy, I don't feel sad regarding that manner. It's like I am numb. U know, like I am a robot? I manage to completely deceive myself. I can't cry! I am afraid, why can't I cry?
ARGH.
ARGH.
I realised that on teacher's day when i cried when our classmates asked. I thought I was happy! I really thought that and everything was fine. Except for my studies. EVERYTHING WAS FINE!! I thought I got over it. Then I cried. And I was shocked. They were shocked. And I just quickly wiped my tears, hoping he won't see it. And smiled. just like that.
What's happening?? I am lost.
Friday, December 05, 2008
lonely.
Sometimes I feel like crying at night. And today I did. I succeeded. I was thinking and I cried. It was not much. The hurt wasn't strong anymore. It has ebbed to a itsy bitsy pain in the corner. Those untouched memories I couldn't forget just yet.
Is that supposed to be happy news? I don't think so. I want to cry out loud. really loud. From the bottom of my heart. Where is it? Please come back... Free me from this disease. I am cold. Too cold.
A hug? Anyone? Please help me.
Is that supposed to be happy news? I don't think so. I want to cry out loud. really loud. From the bottom of my heart. Where is it? Please come back... Free me from this disease. I am cold. Too cold.
A hug? Anyone? Please help me.
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Birthday.
My birthday passed long time ago. It was one of my saddest birthday in my whole life. LOL. exaggerating? think again. On the starting of my birthday, was scratching myself cause of a mosquito bite. I realised that "hey, why is there some sort watery substance on my fingers?". O.o BLOOD. a-ha-ha. One great way to wish yrself happy birthday. And i sang Happy Birthday to myself as an encouragement. Yes, I know, its pathetic.
Well, so as not to start off with a depressing note, des sms-ed me a happy birthday. ^^ happy. At least one person remembered and wished me happy birthday at exactly 12am. lol. That is extreme sweet of him, at least, i know someone cared. He celebrated my birthday before that, was really fun. He treated me a lot of yummy stuff, was super duper delicious and nice. ^^v YaY for des.
Then comes the horrible birthday. I went to school, studied like usual during lesson. I got a chemistry test on my birthday till 7pm. It was really 'fun' studying hard before my birthday. Well, my choir friend(dear) also wished me happy birthday. lol, i also very happy. My other choir friend also saw me and remembered to wish me too.(I think cause her birthday is one day after mine) lol. Was the starting of a nice day right? sounds nice.
My classmates(can be considered good friends) did not wish me happy birthday. Well, even my lao gong didn't until I told her I was very sad on my birthday. Haiz, and I had to tell her then she wished me. lol. Then i already quite sad. Cause among the mushies, only steph wished me happy birthday. The rest didn't. but well, I guess that was the hardest blow. lol.
Okay, I think, the worse was the part where the mushies go out together without me on my birthday. Yes, I know, I only have to blame for my test on that day. But yeah, I was quite sad I can't go out with them to enjoy the day I was born. So I eventually ended my birthday with a whole lot of crying and emo-ing. Lol. fun? I know, I can predict that next year would be even more so. ^^
Well, so as not to start off with a depressing note, des sms-ed me a happy birthday. ^^ happy. At least one person remembered and wished me happy birthday at exactly 12am. lol. That is extreme sweet of him, at least, i know someone cared. He celebrated my birthday before that, was really fun. He treated me a lot of yummy stuff, was super duper delicious and nice. ^^v YaY for des.
Then comes the horrible birthday. I went to school, studied like usual during lesson. I got a chemistry test on my birthday till 7pm. It was really 'fun' studying hard before my birthday. Well, my choir friend(dear) also wished me happy birthday. lol, i also very happy. My other choir friend also saw me and remembered to wish me too.(I think cause her birthday is one day after mine) lol. Was the starting of a nice day right? sounds nice.
My classmates(can be considered good friends) did not wish me happy birthday. Well, even my lao gong didn't until I told her I was very sad on my birthday. Haiz, and I had to tell her then she wished me. lol. Then i already quite sad. Cause among the mushies, only steph wished me happy birthday. The rest didn't. but well, I guess that was the hardest blow. lol.
Okay, I think, the worse was the part where the mushies go out together without me on my birthday. Yes, I know, I only have to blame for my test on that day. But yeah, I was quite sad I can't go out with them to enjoy the day I was born. So I eventually ended my birthday with a whole lot of crying and emo-ing. Lol. fun? I know, I can predict that next year would be even more so. ^^
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